Sex is a subject some people either choose to stay away from or choose to openly speak about. I guess it’s a sensitive subject. But on this fine early morning at 2:04am im choosing to openly speak about S E X.
Okay let’s get straight to the point!
Losing your virginity!
Yeah losing your virginity can be a very confusing, scary, nervous and exciting time. But for most it’s either long over – due or too soon and a big mistake. It’s quite a funny thing to think of: like why do we obsess so much over a period of intimate interaction with the sex we are attracted to so much? The endorphins, hormones and testosterone in our human bodies tell us that we need it, it makes us crave intimate interaction; so much so, that we withdrawal from it when we don’t have it, we fantasise about it and wish to have it when we want it. We get horny! We want sex. But is sex really all that? (No its not! Sex doesn’t define a relationship and if it does – then it’s not a very good relationship) sex is just a percentage of your relationship with a person. You need other things beside your daily fix of naughtiness and raunchy deeds, like actually having things in common, being able to work together to get through life and love etc.
Losing your virginity to the person you do it with can be on one hand: a long wait- you’ve waited for that special someone and he/she has lived up to your expectations. Or you’ve indulged in a saucy one night stand and completely regret it (or enjoyed it) or you have just simply had SEX. Either way- losing your V plates can be tricky.
Number 1. You tend to fall for the person you have sex with first, it’s just fact. And if you don’t, you are a very talented human being and deserve a clap. Ha!
But in my case my first person was not the right one for me. I was young, inexperienced with boys, naive and very inquisitive. I just wanted to see what the fuss was about-when in actual fact- the boy was an equivalent to an ironing board and didn’t move an inch and I was bored within about 5 minutes. I did all the work. It hurt and I was (excuse my rudeness) very sore the next day. And after all that; the boy was “not ready for a relationship at the minute” typical!
The people I have slept with were either so addicted to porn land that they expected all sex sessions were going to be just like the films and I’d walk out in some nurse uniform and seduce them with my stethoscope. NO! It doesn’t work like that. Those films are thrown out there into the world to pleasure you’re fantasies. Because I can tell you now, not every male or female wants to play dress up or get the bondage out for a quickie in the conservatory.
Then the others’ were about as useful to my sex drive as my left hand! Which is not useful because I’m right-handed.
My boyfriend now knows just the way I like things. But as me and him have both learned – you have to adapt to one and others’ needs and wishes regarding sex. He’s not a fifty shades kind of guy, yep it took a while to convince him to try but now he’s adapting and trying new things and the other way round for me.
You can’t just hop into bed with someone first time and expect them to be top whompers! It takes time for you to get to know the person’s sex drive, needs, fantasies and likes.
I know that in years to come I’ll look back at all the times I gave myself to a male and ended up in tears, heartbroken because he’s fucked me over – because all those steps in your life are just an extra step added to your journey towards meeting the perfect person for you wether it be male or female…
Sex also isn’t all that in regards to your confidence and self esteem. If you are unhappy with your body and looks you will most probably find it hard to get completely naked in front of someone and may only feel comfortable with a top on, don’t worry- YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE. On a bad day I do that too and some days I will wrip it off and get straight to it. But if you don’t love your body and yourself then how can anyone else love your body and looks. That’s why it’s just so important to learn to love yourself, accept compliments and accept who you are. Yeah it’s hard, but if you want something good to come out of everything that you do, it’s worth it. Sex is nothing if you think about it, but at the same time it’s everything you fear.
Never do anything you’re uncomfortable with and try not to put yourself in a sticky situation where your boyfriend or someone you are seeing promises they will be your partner if you hand over your V plates to them! Or if you’re not a virgin just to have sex with them. Because yeah unless you want casual sex that’s great for you.. but if you actually like the person and want a relationship with them.. why should sex be a deal breaker for you getting together or not?
If they like you as they say they do why should sex define their decision?
You are still the same person… You look the same.. You sound the same.. You act the same.. so why should you be given in some cases a false promise when you deserve more than that? What everyone deserves is time to adjust, time to get to know each other out of a friendship- into a relationship, in order to make sure you’re both compatible in order to have a meaningful physical relationship.
Just remember that you don’t have to whomp it all out when it’s requested you have the right to say no and you have the right to hold your cards close to your chest` & if someone cannot handle that then honey they ain’t the right one for you!
Cheerio x o x
somethingthatmakesyouhappyx 